an awful lot of thinking - an official notice

working on trying to understand this bible story about a man and a donkey - there are a lot of stories that incorporate these two characters and at this time i am not elaborating.

however i am working on a theme - working hard on a theme - and allow me to try once:

there is one hand and there is another. on one hand, you have control - you have perspective, you exercise it and you trust yourself. the other hand is more about risk, challenges, and opposition. however they form in your life, they are there.

the idea is that you can choose which hand to play. it isn't a guess. it isn't instinctive knowing of when to hold (or when to fold) them. it is about knowing that you are choosing every single day and living with that result, that purpose.

i describe myself as ice cream. i wake up each morning and i am like a bowl of fresh out of the freezer ice cream. i allow my brain to melt, scrape the outer layer off - digest, understand, enjoy. scrape another layer off - enjoy, understand, digest. and so on until i get to my core - to my purpose - to the ultimate reason i am satisfied. to the the reason i exist.

sometimes i look at my physical body and i feel pure joy that i am a human. i say to my friend, "do you ever just look at your body and say - how cool is this? i am a human being"
friend: "as opposed to...??"
me: "a turtle? anything - we get to be humans. live in this body..."

looking back on this conversation i think that maybe watching Avatar again is not such a good idea.

need to be mindful, need to be aware. need to be appreciative for talents and blessings. take credit for all of your decisions. responsibility if not as fortunate in this given point in time that this credit is due.

i am thankful. i praise God for the people in my life. i am thankful for phone calls and silence. pasta and pictures. what else...maybe fall and the smell of the air when it turns to a black licorice aroma mixed with football and leaves. ahhhh....tradition and meaning. the boys - ha. to the teenage girls out there who read this. be careful of the boys. they can be distracting....

and with that - to all and each and every one in this world - good night and good morrow.