i almost didn't write tonight

because i thought i was doing it for you. for people. for approval. funny - it was like i was 5 again.

really - i was pushed over the social media edge today during a quick stint in foursquare. apparently my work is on there and i could be the mayor. i can't decide whether that would be mildly rewarding in a comical way or devastating.

the nice thing about foursquare is that it could have some serious tracking benefits - but people get worked up about that so i will just continue. additionally: i don't want to think about foursquare.

nor do i want to talk about animals being more intelligent than we have realized. (Time August 16, 2010) truth is, whether or not i have outwardly admitted it: i have always thought animals were smart - way smart - maybe even too smart. so. yea.

the things i do are meaningless, the amount of talking i do is sickening, but the love i have for all of it is even more profound than all of those heart wrenching feelings i lay out. puzzles - today, i felt like i was mentally moving around one of those square puzzle games where all the pieces fit within one bigger square. it was amazing.

needs are another interesting concept - and how they roll together from one thought to the next. what do i need to be doing? what do i need to know? how do you need me? how do i need you?

there are some things that as a human, you just so simply need. as an individual, you may want - but that is not really the point. things you need in the way you want them: that would change consumerism. that would get everybody a step forward and out of the pizza mania and guzzards. not really sure what that was supposed to mean but somebody will appreciate it.

so i sigh. and praise the Lord that it is just after 10 and i have had as much quiet time as i have had to digest. Chinese food is a coma for the brain, a love song for the heart. That actually might have been my fortune. Good news for my writing technique, i am putting sentences together faster and (looking over this) I am starting to capitalize more. Notably, it was nice to have written scribbled out brain notes on a notebook page. Lyrics and poetry, however - are a far distance from where I write today. TO be continued...